Thanks to my theatre schedule we watched another short, Ye Olden Days. We watched this while I sat on the floor and started my crazy MacBeth make-up. This one is really old, like 1933 old. The one we watched is the original black and white version, they did remake it with color later. This is also a short where the characters sing. There is music throughout and a good portion of the dialouge is sung by the characters. The sound is WAY old school. Definitely a different technological time!

As the short begins there is a scroll that says "Ye Caste." Mickey and Minnie are there and "Ye Prince" is apparently Dippy Dog. Now I have to assume that Dippy Dog is the original moniker for Goofy. On IMDb the credit is listed as Goofy, it's listed that way everywhere else too.

Mickey is a wandering minstrel, Minnie a princess who is being forced to marry Goofy a prince. She refuses and is locked in the attic from where Mickey tries to rescue her. They are caught sneaking off and a duel for Minnie's hand ensues. Mickey wins (duh). They all live happily ever after. I really think that perhaps just once Goofy should get the girl. Goofy never gets the girls. Poor guy. Even decades later when Disney made Goof Troop. Goofy has a son Max but no wife, no girlfriend, he's a single dad and even his son is embarrassed by him. Goofy just can't buy a break. I suspect that his lack of success in the romance department is due to the fact the Disney never created a female dog. Goofy is a dog. Disney pairs off their couples by species, no inter-species love allowed. I guess Goofy will always be single. Lame.

Aside from the consistent neglect of Goofy, I love Disney. The last five days have been fun, well except Disney Channel day. That was awful.

On Monday we watched the Disney Channel from 5:00 PM to 6:00 PM. First up was Phineas and Ferb. From Wikipedia:

Phineas and Ferb (also known as Disney's Phineas and Ferb) is an American animated television series. Originally broadcast as a preview on August 17, 2007 on Disney Channel, the series follows two suburban[1] stepbrothers[2] on summer vacation. Each day the pair devise ambitious, involved plans and inventions to stave off boredom, often bringing them into conflict with their sister, Candace. The series follows a standard plot system; running gags occur every episode, and the B-Plot almost always features the boys' pet platypus, Perry, acting as a secret agent to fight an evil scientist named Heinz Doofenshmirtz (originally named "Meddleshmirtz" by Povenmire & Swampy). The two plots intersect at the end to erase all traces of the boys' project just before Candace can show it to their mother.

The two ~10 minutes episodes we saw both followed this formula precisely. It seems like regular watchers would tire of the repetitive plot line but maybe their target audience is into that sort of thing. The first episode was actually fairly witty at first before descending into chaotic nonsense by the end. I didn't get the whole story because I was making dinner but it involved a Father/Daughter competition that didn't seem to feature the title characters. I missed much of the second episode but it involved Niagara Falls and bananas.

Next up was a short claymation titled Shaun the Sheep. It had the unmistakable style of Wallace and Gromit creators Aardman Animations. I didn't follow the storyline and there was no dialogue but I love Aardman's work and enjoyed watching the action. I did notice a Dr. Who joke: a guest at a costume party was dressed as a Dalek.

Our final Disney Channel programming was an episode of Good Luck Charlie. From Wikipedia:

Good Luck Charlie is an American family television sitcom airing on Disney Channel in the United States. The series was created by Phil Baker and Drew Vaupen, who wanted to create a program that would appeal to entire families as opposed to children only. It revolves around the Duncan family as they try to adjust to the birth of their fourth child, Charlie (Mia Talerico). In each episode, Teddy Duncan (Bridgit Mendler) creates a video diary containing advice for Charlie about their family and life as a teenager.

This show was terrible. The writing was bad and acting was worse. The three older children are left to take care of their infant sister. They lose the sister. Contrived and unsuccessful attempts at hilarity ensue. Sister is eventually located and I supposed everyone learns an important lesson. I am dumber for having watched this show.

The Disney Channel was just about as bad as I imagined it would be but I am happy to report that each show we watched had at least one poop joke. Avoid this show if you value your brain cells and please don't inflict this drivel upon your children.

What a bunch of crap. Keith and I watched the Disney channel for an hour today from 5:00 to 6:00 pm. That time frame contained three different shows, Phineas and Ferb, Shaun the Sheep and Good Luck Charlie.

Phineas and Ferb is a cartoon about a family with two genius level sons, a pet platypus who fights crime and a plain sister. The 25 minute segment was broken up into two episodes. The first involving a father daughter picnic/competition. The genius sons built a blimp to view said event. The family pet platypus battles his nemesis for some unknown reason. The second episode centers on the sister babysitting her crush's little sister, who teaches her how to manipulate her two genius brothers. Meanwhile the brothers are using a broken sprinkler to make a water slide resembling Niagara Nalls. I actually really liked this cartoon. I liked how the writers blended mischief and science. There were several fun facts written into all the scenes. It was nice to see science being promoted.

Shaun the Sheep faked me out big time. The cartoon as all the appearances of being just like Wallace and Gromit, a favorite of Keith's. Other than the clay-mation style and the obviously British grubulub it is not anywhere near as cool. There is no dialogue, just accented grunts and grumbles and the story was stupid. I should mention that the cartoon was 5 minutes long, so maybe I should forgive the stupid story.


Good Luck Charlie was a waste of a good half hour. I plan to write the Disney Channel and ask for my thirty minutes back! The story centers on a girl filming life and dispensing advice for her baby sister. I thought it was an interesting premise. The execution however is awful. The acting, the writing, everything about it was terrible. I was disappointed to see even the adult actors butchering their simple script. Yes, they are acting in a kids show, but last I check kids aren't stupid. I found the whole idea of over acting in order to act down to kids ridiculously condescending.

I am of the beginning era generation for the Disney Channel. I was born the same year Disney Channel was created, 1983. I watched KIDS Incorporated, Rescue Rangers, Mickey Mouse Club (the Aguilara-Timberlake years), Gummi Bears, Darkwing Duck and so many more. I can still sing, upon request the theme songs to most of the Disney afternoon line-up. Don't believe me? Ask me sometime. I wish I had seen that same spark of fun in the Disney Channel of today as I did when I was 6. Maybe you do really lose a little magic when you grow up. But seriously, today's Disney Channel sucks.

On Sunday we watched Through the Mirror, the short cartoon that is in the Alice in Wonderland (1951) DVD special features. I was working on finishing up beer month posts so I didn't really pay attention to Through the Mirror. I caught that Mickey was having an out of body experience in some sort of hallucinatory wonderland. I suspect that it was induced by cardiac arrest as even in 1951 Mickey would have been twenty three years old, which is very old for a mouse. Pet mice usually only live to be about five years old. I was relieved to see that Mickey survived this trauma and woke up at the end of the short animation.

I love the Disney animated shorts. They are so much fun. "Through the Mirror" is the Micky Mouse take on "Through the Looking Glass" which is a story in the Alice and Wonderland series by Lewis Carol.

Mickey wanders through his mirror into the magical version of his house. His furniture and possessions have come to life complete with faces and personalities. Mickey eats a walnut and shrinks. He is now tiny and fits in the mirror world more readily. He begins to tap dance his way through his house, dancing with his possessions and eventually the queen of hearts card. The joker, on his bicycle (funny) notices and alerts the king of hearts who fights for his lady. Chaos ensues and Mickey escapes to the right side of the mirror. Eventually he is awakened by his alarm and it has all been a dream. The Lewis Carol book sits open at his feet.

One of the things I love about the Disney shorts is the music. There isn't often singing but there is always music. In some cases I can tell you which short you are watching simply by hearing the music. Mickey's tap dancing and the sound effects are perfectly timed with the music.

Has anyone ever noticed that the queen of hearts card looks exactly like Marlena Detirch?

I enjoyed Disney fare as a kid but like most normal people I grew out of it a long time ago. Stephanie on the other hand still loves Disney. Well, not so much loves as has a rabid zeal matched only in kinetic energy by the fires of Mordor. Given this fervor and that we already had a trip to Disneyland planned it made sense to make May Disney month.

We kicked off the Disney festivities with the first full length animated feature Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Disney started their trend of having lead characters with parents that are either dead or maniacal with Snow White. Snow White's crazy Stepmother is out to get her. At first it is implied that the Stepmother's murderous tendencies are caused by criminal insanity but evidence soon begins to pile up that her hatred of Snow White may be warranted. The first evidence against Snow White comes after she takes a walk through the woods. She is soon hallucinating, clearly the result of illicit drug use. She has a bad trip and ends up sleeping it off curled in the fetal position in the woods for the night. When Snow White comes to, her criminal rampage continues as she breaks into the Dwarfs' house and vandalizes it.

At this point I have to be honest: we failed our mission on the first day out. There was drinking to be done at our local watering hole so we didn't finish the movie. I can only imagine that Snow White's crime spree continues through the rest of the movie. Clearly the Stepmother was only looking out for her husband's kingdom. What would become of the kingdom if something happened to the King and a miscreant like Snow White gained power? The Stepmother had take drastic measures for the greater good of the kingdom and she should be commended for her sacrifice and bravery.

The Dwarfs' story is an unusual one. Their first scene has them hard at work in their gem mine. Their haul of precious gems is spectacular. They had managed to pull a fortune out of the earth in one day's work. If the Dwarfs have access to such a mother load it is hard to imagine why they live in a small disheveled cottage. My theory is that the King has taken advantage of their low level of intelligence by making them into some sort of indentured servants or slaves. They have been enslaved by the monarchy and are forced to hand over their fortune to fund the lavish lifestyle of the royal family. In their stupor they must not have realized that Snow White is herself royalty or they would have torn her asunder and buried her in the woods in revenge. Perhaps they wise up and this happens later in the movie.

Walt Disney must have been a man with a dark side. Many children must have had their fragile minds warped during the past seventy three years by this woeful tale.

Disney month begins with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Snow White was the first full length animated Disney feature. It premiered in 1937 and made history. It is the first of many Disney animated movies that helped shape my childhood.

Snow White is the story of a princess who is hated by her step-mother the Queen. The Queen has no name, she is simply the Queen. Snow White's crimes are her beauty and grace. To regain her place as fairest in the land the Queen tries multiple times to kill Snow White. She fails, the Prince saves Snow White and the Witch dies. Yes, I am telling you the ending. If you haven't seen it or read it, sorry.

The story comes from the Brothers Grimm, as do many of the future Disney animated movies. Disney takes a bit of license with the story. The Queen's death for example is different in the story. Rather than falling to her death from a cliff as she does in the movie, she dies from dancing in hot metal shoes. I guess that was too torturous for the eyes of children. The Queen visits Snow White three times in the Grimm tale rather than just the one time to deliver the poison apple. I supposed Snow White being laced too tightly into a corset was also too much for children.

I think Snow White is great. Though it's not my favorite. I find her voice annoyingly high pitched. Sometimes she sounds exactly like Shirley Temple. When she sings her natural vibrato is so fast and constant that I want to scream. The songs are fun and well written. I wish I could listen to the Prince sing more. Disney cut a lot of his stuff because he was difficult to animate.

Snow White was the first and is such an accomplishment. The animated movies that followed will always bee held to that standard. The movie coined the phrase "mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all" although in the movie it is "Magic mirror" not "mirror, mirror" as it would later be quoted. I need to pick it up on DVD, I only have it on VHS.

Mission number two is Disney. Operatives Keith and Stephanie will view or experience something from the Disney Corporation everyday for the month of May. This includes movies, animated shorts, the Disney Channel, and a trip to Disneyland theme park. They may not repeat a movie or cartoon. They must watch the movies in their entirety. This will be difficult given Keith's natural distrust for animated talking animals and Stephanie's insatiable love of singing along with the princesses.