Homicidal Maniac Ravages Innocent Clam Family


It a horrific display of carnivorous zeal a woman devoured an entire family of clams at a Red Lobster restaurant in Chico California. Witnesses at the scene of the crime were shocked at the brutality of the woman as she ate what she reportedly dubbed "clam chowder." The alleged crime involved chopping up a Daddy clam, a Mommy clam, a little boy clam, and a baby girl clam into small pieces. The remains of the victims were then dunked into scalding hot liquids before being eaten.

"There was a lot of snorting and squealing and she had a crazed look in her eye, kinda like that Charles Manson guy," described a Red Lobster employee. Authorities have asked that anyone fitting the description of the alleged killer be immediately reported. They warned that the suspect is likely armed with a butcher knife and soup spoon and could be very dangerous. "Do not approach her, we don't know who she will lash out at next. Just keep a safe distance and call 911," cautioned Police Chief Maloney.

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